H – Hear and understand me. Everyone wants to be heard and understood. Hearing is listening to more than just the facts. There are tones in my voice and my posture that tell more than the words. After you hear me, I’m more ready to listen to you.
E – Even if you disagree, please don’t make me wrong. Don’t attack my self-worth. Don’t argue to win; aim for understanding. Compromising on a room color that neither of you like may be a lose-lose situation. Allowing the one with the strongest feelings to make the decision may give them great pleasure. Both should make some of the decisions. Cherish the other’s pleasure!
A – Acknowledge the greatness within me. Everyone wants to grow and become fulfilled! Work with me so I can become greater! Build and lift me up! To do the opposite is self-defeating. Take turns pulling each other to the top. The view together will be grand!
R – Remember to look for my loving intentions. When I do something you think is wrong, try to look at my motives. Is it possible I was acting out of love? Assume I love you before you consider other possibilities.
T – Tell me the truth with compassion. Talk to me not about me. Be respectful and caring. Avoid disdainful and condescending remarks.
(From
the book Managing From The Heart, by Hyler Bracey, et. al., five principles
of “H E A R T” communications are outlined. Good principles for business managers; good principles for
lovers.)
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Next Weekends - June
26-28, 2009
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Herb & Betty Doller
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